Listening 101
February 1st, 2010 11:17 AMNo man ever listened himself out of a job.
-Calvin Coolidge
In college I had a professor who always made it a point to emphasize with students what it meant to really listen while working with others. He stated that sadly we often live in a “debate” society. We each speak our opinion and the many reasons its right and then politely pretend to listen to the opposition’s point of view, only to be impatiently waiting for our turn to speak again. He always ended his lectures saying “You got two ears and one mouth for a reason. Use them accordingly.”
Listening is an essential tool that should be used… well… everywhere. In listening we are better able to understand the needs of our clients, kids, co-workers, spouses, friends, parents, strangers, neighbors… the list could go on but I think you get the picture. When you listen, you give people what they are asking for, not what you think they want.
Listening is more then just not talking, and nodding your head in agreement. To truly listen to another person is to work at understanding them. You listen to their words and watch their body language. Do they seem upset? Excited? You listen to what they are saying, rather then just their words. “I am really frustrated with that inconsiderate decision she made” usually means more then just “I am feeling the emotion of frustration.”
We ourselves find more satisfaction when we are listening to others. I know for myself I prefer to take the time with those around to me to understand and provide a solution, rather then being another part of their problem…and I can’t do that without first listening with my ears and not my mouth.
Posted by Erica Christenson
Permalink | 4 Comments »
Tags: listening, understand, work with others
Categories: Miscellaneous
If only more people in this world would do exactly what is said, and just listen!
I agree that there needs to be good listening…hands down! A main problem with communication between individuals these days is that we hear, but don’t understand what is being said. I think the downfall, if you can call it that, in challenging yourself to become a better listener is that those around you may not be striving for that same quality. I guess that’s where patience and love for the person (a love that is based simply on the fact that they are your neighbor, co worker, boss, friend, family member, ect.)your trying to understand comes into play. I would argue, without those two qualities one would not be able to truly listen to others.
Each of us has the power to give others a voice simply by listening and truly desiring to come to an understanding of their position.I wonder what this world would be like if we used that power and did something about what we heard…
Megan, I couldn’t have said it better myself
Reba, I agree. I think a lot of times people hear what you are saying, but don’t take the time to listen to the message.